Some decisions are more important than others. Some are more long term than others. Falling in love is one of those decisions that most would agree is very important and could be very long term. Ironically, it is one of those decisions that often doesn’t receive the thinking time and effort it deserves. This is probably because the emotional perspective dominates and the objective thought process (looking at both sides of the question) seems to be unimportant or at the very least, it takes the fun out of it. Don’t fall into this emotional trap. Give the question a complete and very thoughtful review. Use the decision making guide and follow each section. You will be glad you did.

Application Insights-Should I Fall In Love? is not to be viewed as an answer sheet of how you should think or value things. It does represent a selected list of possible insights that many people may have neglected as they tackle this important decision. In some cases some of the insights may be a reminder of things you should think about and haven’t. This question also highlights the personal nature of should I fall in love decision. As the guide suggests, no one has your feelings, values, or goals. This fact should not keep you from being complete in your thinking by seeking input from others. Listening to others will add to your confidence that your choice is the best one possible at this time.

• The question of should I fall in love? is complex. It has, at the very least, emotional, biological, financial, and social components and probably a lot more. Falling in love could be a commitment that will be lifelong and as trite as it sounds “your life will never be the same”. Be sure to think about what falling in love really means. Understand the connections falling in love have to your life’s goals. Specifically, the context is an evolving one, consequently, the decision making process should be a work in progress.
   
• Once you have identified the connections falling in love have to your life’s goals ask yourself what is really important to you. What goals will be impacted the most by falling in love? Which goals will be enhanced by love and which ones may have to be modified or even forfeited?  This process of thinking will give you the criteria for weighing the expected costs and expected benefits of each possible choice. As is often the case, people tend to focus on the benefits of finding their soul mate and avoid the costs. Don’t forget the possible loss of freedom, the need for compromise, and a new social environment that may not be as enjoyable as the one you currently have.
   
• Some people view the question of falling in love as an all or nothing one. They see few alternatives that need or can be weighed. Although this view is probably more true for this question than others, consider other people that you have some strong feelings for, is love a feeling that is connected to one person or can it be shared with others. Is love a pathway to marriage or some other type of relationship? Is love an emotion that can be attributed to things or activities that may or may not be enhanced by falling in love with a single person? Have you ever said “I really love to play soccer or play my violin”?
   
• Evaluate the alternatives previously identified. Place a value on each of them and determine how they rank with one another. Do some alternatives have more expected benefits than others and how about the expected costs. Incorporate your mental “balance” and see how important each one is in comparison to the others. Don’t forget to conduct your evaluations and weighing in both the short run and the long run.
   
• Although falling in love or not is a personal event, it is recommended that you seek input from others. Because everyone has experienced or will experience this question, the interest will be high and all parties will be better off when the communication process is complete. Stories of people jumping into love too quickly or not fast enough may be very helpful in your quest for the right choice.
   
• Did Cupid win the day? Is the position of love in your life enhanced or reduced after your thoughtful consideration? As is the case with all decisions, revisiting it often is important and will result in more confidence that you are doing the right thing.

 
ADDITIONAL SOURCES

1) The Real Cost of Dating in America.